Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Farewell 2008

I can not believe that it is New Years Eve 2008!!!! So many great things have happened this year!!!!! And so I present........

My Top Ten Greatest Events from 2008

10. Metal Gods - Look for a hard rock girl of the late 80's early 90's...this was nirvana. I mean I admit that there was a certain part of the evening that I would like erased from my memory but even that was a great shows I am not completely de-sensitized to certain things (thank goodness). Plus honestly there is nothing better than going to a bar and having your friend Jared ask if he should bring his gun in....and then wishing he did.

9. Obama - I am pretty sure that I will be disowned from my family for this...but no matter your political background you have to admit that it is kind of amazing being able to be a part of history. First black president. Good for you America.

8. Fourth of July - This is typically my favorite holiday. This year was one of the best. Seriously. I saw a parade, I flashed people at a lake, I ate mashed potatoes, and I watched fireworks. It was amazing!!!! Oh and I got up before 10:00 on my day off. Only for Auby and Brookie.

7. Rockband - There is no way I can explain playing the guitar to "Wonderwall" in Ed Parkers theatre room. What no one knows is that I cried. Straight cried. It was amazing.....I could not decide if I wanted to out Rockband or GNR Live DVD......actually now that I think about it....yeah GNR Live DVD.....yep....short shorts, cigs, and November Rain....oh and the Axl Rose solo of a lifetime.

6. Vegas Baby - OASIS!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously...oh my goodness......I love them. And they showed up and they were not angry or drunk and they played a great show...and yes...I cried. Plus Tesla cougar the fact that I have been on a Scorpions kick since then. Plus....Gingah, Red, and Ed Parker. Good times.

5. Thanksgiving - Alice and Auby do AZ. This trip was great for so many reasons. First my family. I have had a hard road building trust and respect and a good relationship with my family but it is finally happening. It is amazing what happens when you do not steal or use drugs...moral of the story? I have grown so close to my little step-sister (yes I know she is hot sheesh), close to my step-mom (yeah dad I know she is hot and now this is getting awkward) and the rest of my new family. I have become comfortable around my father and feel grateful for him. It was a great trip. Then there was the shopping, laughing, eating, and laughing with Miss Auby. What a great time!!!! Then there was Francisco who...and Auby would agree...was the best part of the trip. :)

4. Lyman - I have really great friends. I mean really great. Friends that after church on a Sunday would drive me to Lyman, Wyoming to see my family. Seriously...Red and Auby came through. Auby even drove in a storm. It was fantastic!!! Again this goes along with repairing damaged was so great to see my family. I love them so much.

3. Metallica - I saw a lot of concerts this year....but this was done last minute. Seriously..Red and I were going to dinner and we just decided...lets go to Metallica. Our seats were total nose bleed but it was still great. I am grateful to have a friend who will go to a metal concert with me spur of the moment....I am grateful for Sarah.

2. Chargers beating Denver in the last week of the regular season clinching a play-off position - Yeah...this was pretty much great. I watched it with a great group of people and I smiled for hours afterwards...until I found a knife in my couch. GO CHARGERS!!!!!!!!!

1. One Year Sober - I again go back to the fact that I have great friends. I was thrown the most kick ass sobriety party ever. It was so so great. And I was one year sober. I still can not quite believe it. I never thought I would make it. And now I am two weeks away from 18 months!!!! I am so grateful for the strength and love I have been given.

I could not have ever expected at the end of last year that I would be where I am today. I am happy. I mean truly happy. I have an amazing support system. I have an amazing family and I have great great great friends. On this night I am gathering all of my closest friends....and I am so grateful there is more than one and a bottle of Vicoden.

Happy New Year

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Favorite Friday - Ms. Spears

This my friends has been a HUGE week for me. SO many exciting events and such. I had so many things that I could put for my favorite. But after searching deep in my soul I realized what it needed to be.

Most know that I am a music snob. I love music. It is super important to me. So of course I have a list of favorite songs, bands ,and solo artists. Today my friends I bumped Mindy Smith off the solo artist list for none other than Miss Britney Spears. Look yo, I am done frontin'. I love her. Always have. Seen her in concert.....a lot. Have every album INCLUDING exports. I know the dance moves from her videos and know every lyric.

And so...Favorite Friday this week is dedicated to Britney....Ms. Spears if you're nasty.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Favorite Friday - Billy Squier Video

There is a long story behind this and a reason I am posting it today.....but...that is for another day. Until then enjoy the majesty that is Billy Squier's dance moves.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

What do you see?

A drug addict

A felon

A liar

Someone overweight

Someone vain

A Democrat

A Chargers fan

A blond

A brunette

A music snob

A crier

Someone funny

Someone sassy

Someone caring

Someone selfish

A divorcee

A victim

A failure

A success

A possibility

Someone tainted

Someone damaged

Someone redeemed

A daughter

A friend

I am like a magic picture,take three steps back, stare real hard and squint your eyes. What do you see?

Thursday, November 27, 2008


I love my family.....especially cute little sassy step-sisters

Favorite Friday - Mashed Potatoes

Ummm this is the perfect after Thanksgiving post!!! I LOVE mashed potatoes. Actually I think it is that I love gravy.....but it is not acceptable to just eat bowls of gravy soooo.....mashed potatoes are a necessity. It reminds me of being young and being with family and Sunday dinner. This is my comfort food...I just love mashed potatoes and for some reason this reminded me of frosting......BUH...and now I am reminded of KFC....BUH....and now I am reminded of what Ginger said at Red Robin...BUH.....

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

My Thanksgiving Post

It is funny how one single night can change everything. I had a seriously long Thanksgiving post. I mean it was long. But in just 12 much has changed. I have realized that there are so many things that are so not constant in my life. But there are two that are.....

My Family - Woo what a year guys right? I mean last year I called you collect. Seriously, I am so grateful for my family. My mother is such an example to me. She is exactly how a lady should be and she tried so hard to teach me that. She has loved me without out fail or condition my entire life. Her love for the gospel has helped me cultivate MY love for the gospel. She is my hero. My father is who I have acquired most of my great personality traits. He is funny and caring and loves the gospel. I have never known him to turn people away when it comes to service and he fiercely loves and protects his family. I have put he and my mother through a lot....and they still love me. He is a Broncos fan...but I still love him and am so grateful for the relationship we have. My Step-Mother, Lori, is so great. She is creative and thoughtful and accepted me with all my faults...and when they got married, I had many. I have great step-siblings that I love and I am enjoying getting to know them better each day. sucks when the siblings you inherit are WAY better looking than you are...don't believe me? Go check out the picture wall in my dad's house...all totally cute and then Jen's Super Sweet Sixteen. Bangs and all. I am cultivating and renewing friendships with cousins that I love and aunts and uncles I adore. I have grandparents who love me (some of whom even come to see me in shackles) and support me and still think I walk on water even though I have dang near drowned. I love you all!!! Plus my kids...they may be dogs...but I am thankful for that little white one every day for giving me the courage to leave.

My Savior and The gospel - I know what I feel. I know my testimony. And that, is enough.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Sometimes the best part IS the t-shirt

Umm..the movie sucked...the t-shirt rocked..check and check.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Jordan and Jon...whats goin' on?

The night I was allowed to be 13

My sweet Joey makes me swoon

See I told you

Still drawing screaming fans

Seriously OK....this guy.....oh how I loved him....turns out...I still do

Happy Birthday Auby

Joey...I'm old enough to make out with you now

Aubry comes through.....loved the shirts

The night I became a republican for Aubry

So I threw Auby a little birthday party....and I had it at Chuck E Cheese.....and if anyone knows Auby you know that is the antithesis of what Auby is. And so Miss Auby's white trash poser party was born. Basically we had to dress up like something we are not. Like Auby......granola girl, BFF....sports fanatic, Lara.......snowboard girl, hair and all...thanks pageant training.


I will refer you to Miss Auby's blog for this one...let me just say.....thats what she said has brought me more joy in the last two years than almost ANYTHING!!!!!!

Saturday, November 15, 2008


Sometimes this date just creeps up on me. Most months it passes right by. Today it didn't. As I sat here at work on a Saturday waiting and waiting and waiting....I started getting a bit irritated. And then, now bear with me this will be a little sappy, I looked out my window and I have a perfect view of the Bountiful temple. I thought about this time last year when I had a perfect view of concrete. There have been days this past year when all that got me through was the thought of entering that temple again. And I am almost there. It's so close. And you know, that is really all that matters to me. Sure, work sucks sometimes and lets face it, sometimes it is hard not getting the one thing you want more than anything, but life is awesome.

I have really great friends. I have a REALLY great family. I am feeling more comfortable in my skin everyday. I am so grateful. So very grateful. I am grateful for these experiences. They have made me a better person. A stronger person.

16 months

Friday, November 14, 2008

Favorite Friday - Cupcakes

I love cupcakes. They are my favorite. I could eat them all the time. Do you know what my favorite part is? The frosting. I love frosting. Remember when you were little and you would stick your finger into the container of frosting and then suck it off? BUH. I can not even do this. I got close enough. I am throwing up in my mouth as we speak. BUH BUH BUH

Metal Gods

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 gotta call your dad

I have been tormented with an issue as of late. It is a political issue. It is one of the first times I can think of that I have not been able to put my political values in line with my spiritual and moral values. In the past that would not have mattered to me. Politics first. But now, well it is not that way. I needed advice. I needed wisdom. I called my dad. My dad explained things to me and helped me come to my own conclusions about how I feel. I am so very thankful I have a dad who does not push his views and standings on me and respects mine. I am grateful I have a dad who I can talk to and ask questions. I am grateful I have a dad who loves me and loves the church. I am grateful that after a very long time I finally realize how lucky I am, even if he is a Broncos fan.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

I've been hit.....

I have been tagged to post the fourth picture in my fourth picture file on my computer and give a narrative on it sooooo.......
This is Miss Aubry and I on the Fourth of July at the Provo Parade. It was such a great day. Seriously, best
Fourth of July EVER!!!!!!
Now I tag BFF, Auby, Brookie, and Heather

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

It is a privilege.......

I hope everyone votes today. Don't take it for granted!!!!

What did YOU do for FHE?

Went to Metallica

Friday, October 31, 2008

Favorite Friday - My Kids

Look at those sweet baby faces.....enough said

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Conversations with a conservative II

I have recently had a friend who I have known for a long while and who was a staunch liberal cross the fence into conservative thinking. I was talking to my friend Reagan about this........

Jen - All I know is that she made some pretty good points for the conservatives of the world. I don't know. I feel my world has been turned upside down

Reagan - I understand that you could be confused. Your conversion will be a life shattering event and people and Satan will do everything in their power to stop you. It won't be easy Jen, but it will be worth it.

Jen - If I convert you have to give a talk about Asian babies

Reagan - I will give a talk that we should all be willing to help Asian babies, but help because we want to, because we are believers in Jesus and that's what he's want us to choose.

Jen - And that is being blogged

Reagan - I am happy to impart wisdom to the young(ish) and confused who are looking for the truth.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Halloween party #1

Dorothy....with shoes made by BFF


Bee Keeper

Richard Simmons, a witch, Mario and Luigi


Conversations with a conservative

So as most of you know I am not what most would consider a conservative. And usually I am left alone on this point. I make it known my views are pretty strong. I love FDR, I liked Clinton, I think Bush sucks and so do his foreign policies, blah blah blah. Again I am usually just left alone. But all of a sudden I have found this comfortable little place I have been living challenged. I have gotten to know a conservative who has no problem challenging me. So because most of my readers most likely can not believe someone would dare....well I am going to post some of our conversations. Just so my dad can laugh at me. BUT...I held a gun last night know... I am opened minded.
This post will be reletivly short. It really was the one that made me shake my head the most. We will, for the sake of ease, call the conservative Reagan.
Reagan and Jen are talking (texting) about the personal lives and agenda's of certain politicians.
Jen - Reagan, conservatives are not angels either. They are more two faced than liberals
Reagan - You are right, some probably are. But at least conservatives have Jesus on their side.
Jen - Whatever, so if I become conservative more of my prayers will be answered
Reagan - Ummmm.....duh......
Jen stares at her phone and shakes her head...two nights later while speaking of this conversation Jen is treated to lines from "Who's on the Lords side who?".

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Favorite Friday - Lute Olson

*sigh* Tears roll down my cheeks as I write this. I love this man. Love him. Like I am in love with him. I really do have a bit of a true crush on him. So handsome. So classic. So awesome. My Lute "retired" today. With no word. Just one minute he is there and one minute he is gone and my phone in inundated with texts and phone calls. 25 great years. I mean really I am speechless.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008


OK so as of late I have been told to try a new technique of sorts. It's called "creating a new happy memory at a place where you previously had like a total sucky one". I don't think that is the technical term but whatever. Last night we went to Thanksgiving Point to the Corn Maze. I have thrown up in that corn maze. See 2 years like this same time...actually I just figured out that it was two years ago to the day yesterday....holy crap. Anyway 2 years ago I was at this little corn maze as part of my first day in Re-hab. I was so mad, and sick, and sad, and sick, and lost, and sick....did I mention SICK. I remember standing in the middle of that damned corn maze thinking "I could totally run right now". I didn't. I stayed. I graduated. So...I really almost passed on last night. But, no, I was not going to let my past still affect me so, with BFF in tow, we headed to the corn maze. And guess what. I created a new happier memory. Granted instead of puking in the corn maze I peed my pants but whatever. Haunted Corn Maze. BUH. Healing. YAY!!!!!!

I wish I could somehow post how I looked 2 years ago.....lets just say.....improvement

Honestly the best shirt ever. I am a genius

Haunted Hayride...scariest part? That Ian knew every word to every country song they played.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Favorite Friday - Stephen Colbert

Pretty sure...well let me check....yep....sexiest man alive. I mean look at this man. The glasses, the raised eyebrow, the hair. I am in love with Stephen Colbert. I fell in love with this man about 5 years ago. On the Daily Show. Back then I had a huge crush on Craig Kilborn...that turned into a crush on Jon Stewart that turned into a RAGING crush on the man pictured. I do not know of anyone funnier than Stephen Colbert.
I was so happy when he got his own show. The Daily Show was seriously holding him back. He is so witty and smart and hi-larious and handsome and perfect and a great kisser ( I mean how could he not be).
I am pretty sure I will find someone just like him. Well actually I am hoping for a Stephen Colbert/Bill Simmons/Xander Harris mix but I might be waiting a LONG time for that.
So go home tonight, turn on Comedy Central and let his sweet voice lull you into a false sense of security and self delusions because that....good what TV does best.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Have you ever.........(Word Vomit Wednesday)

Looked all of your serious faults in the face in the way of your boss? I had that happen today. It was life changing. Pardon me while I wax spiritual but I have been praying for a few answers and such lately and today so many things came into perspective. See, as many of you may be shocked to know because of the way I act, I am 31. There are times in my life when I act 12 or 13. I always think I am justified. Until today. When I had to lay the smack down on someone who, if gone unchecked, I could end up as (OK well not that bad....but close). I am certain that I am able to have more confidence than that. Be more emotionally stable and secure than that. Have better taste in music than that.

What happened today has changed so much in me. I mean it was this and other things I have been pondering and thinking but I am amazed at the changes it has made. I am so, so, very certain that this was such a great thing. I am so comfortable with who I am. I am a slightly...ok well more than slightly emotional person. And you know what? I am OK with that. I am not unstable (unless the Chargers lose). I am able to control my emotions. But I am dramatic and emotional. Guess what...that is what makes me me.

I can not stand John McCain....sorry watching the debates...........

You know what else? I love music and football and video games and cupcakes and Pop-Tarts. I love various TV shows and movies. I can not change any of that nor do I want to. I think I am pretty great the way I am. I have a soft heart, I cry easily,.....serious John McCain BUH........I like to surprise people, I like to give to people, I like tart yogurt.

Sometimes my heart gets hurt and broken. I am allowed to hurt. But I am not allowed to expect everyone to revolve around me. I am allowed to love my friends and want the best for them no matter what. I am allowed to be fiercely loyal....Buh Joe the Plumber.....John McCain.

Anyway, just, you know it was uncomfortable but it was really great. I stood up for myself which I need to do more. And something in me shifted. And it shifted hard......(TWSS)...and now I feel like I have been thrown out of the hole I was in. So thanks self-absorbed crazy woman....did you see this in the future?

Friday, October 10, 2008

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Make that four and a half

The Who, Iron Maiden and Hannah Montana............


Angels and Airwaves (BUH).........................

a wheelchair..............


mosh pit with sweaty men........

Oasis cover...............

sweaty after pictures..........


Wednesday, October 8, 2008

The green fire is pretty

Auby built a fire pit......wait, wait, let me start over. Auby paid someone to build her a fire pit. She had it put in just in time for Canada's birthday party. One tiny one knew how to build a fire. Thank goodness we always keep our handyman around.....Matt(y). He supplied wood that he always has laying around and the manly skills that he has in abundance. Of course we were there for the most important part.....documentation.

Matt(y) trying to start the fire in the rain

Throwin some slayer love at the fire (whatever Matt shutup)

Auby was a little nervous....the fire pit is pretty darn close to her house

We were having troubles starting the fire so....we picked things to burn.....this folks was perfection. Make a country album.......burn Jessica, burn.....

****Side note.....we had the cover all ready to burn and Matt(y) snatched it right from my hand and put it in his back pocket...where is that pic now Matt?



I just want to take a moment to ask you to notice the sweet decorations in the background....I bought them while I was......uh......nevermind

Auby and her fire pit...that thankfully did not burn down the house

Done and done

OK so when I do my blogs I crank my iTunes and jam and right now "I'll be there for you" by Poison is playing and I am friggin sheddin a tear.....anyway.....I am not kidding this is a powerful song...."when you need a jump I'll be the wire" classic.......anyway.....good job on the fire Matthew, now will you please come fix my table.