Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Because I wanted it.....


My sweet Navy is being blessed on Sunday.

I wanted a new skirt for the occasion. 

So I got this one

Baby weight is SLOWLY coming off...so the options in my closet are limited. 

So I needed to buy this right?

Now what to pair it with.......

Thank You


Thank you for all of the kind words said to me on my post yesterday.

It meant a lot.

It really, really, really did.

Thank you.

jen

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Addiction


By now you know I am a recovering addict.

Or maybe you didn't so...I am a recovering addict.

Or better still.....hi, I am Jen and I am a drug addict.

Miss posted this gem last week and it got me to thinking.

I have a story.

People tell me they want to hear my story.

I don't believe them....it's just a story.

But, lately it seems addiction is all around me. It has touched more people than I ever knew.

So here is my story. And perhaps it will help one person triumph. 

I grew up in relatively normal circumstances. There were issues at home and issues in my childhood, but none of that is really important. I was married when I was 21 or 22...I can't remember. I was a terrible wife. I hurt that man. I got married to get out of my house to someone I did not love. We were divorced 2 years later.

This is where my story begins.

I took it upon myself to make up for all the time I lived straight laced as a teenager. I moved in with a friend and we partied. A lot. I dabbled in cocaine and pills at that time, but never really felt the addiction urge. 

Until him.

I met him at a bar. I had to have him. It took me year. We moved in together. Things got bad. He got hurtful and abusive. I started taking drugs.

My DOC (drug of choice) was Lortab. At my height....and I am not lying...I was taking close to 80 a day. that is not an exaggeration....it is a fact. I worked in dental offices so securing fraudulent prescriptions was easy. 

I stayed with him for four years. I left in the middle of the day. That is a story close and sacred to my heart. All I can say is this. God looks out for us even when we think we do not deserve it. He answers prayers, even if it is the first one you have uttered in 6 years.

I moved to Utah. Continued my drug use. Was fired from jobs, caught for prescription fraud....sent to rehab.
I detoxed at Lakeview Hospital, the same hospital were I had my daughter.

I was in rehab for 3 months. Graduated with flying colors. Relapsed within a month. 

I was missing the piece I needed to stay sober. 

On July 14th 2007, I arrived home from a vacation in San Diego. When I got home my mother sat me down and told me that she had called the police and they were on their way to arrest me. I understood. I took 7 Lortab and waited. 

I was arrested in front of my mothers small apartment. I don't remember much...except it seemed all of the North Salt Lake police department was there. And my mothers face.....she was broken. It killed her to see this, yet she knew...she KNEW it was the right thing. 

I was booked into Davis County Jail. That first week I was pretty angry. I got a tattoo in jail that is still prominent on my toe and is apparently a gang sign. So I can keep you safe in Ogden....or wherever there is heavy gang activity....

This next part....is deeply spiritual so if you get offended by God close the window.

One night....I sat in my bunk....in a tiny cell...with a toilet and a roommate. How did I get here? In a moment of "what else can I do?" I asked my Heavenly Father if he was there. I got an OVERWHELMING confirmation that he was and that he loved me and that I was being looked after.

That THAT started my TRUE rehabilitation. I took the 6 months I had in jail and used it. I read and studied and prayed. I practiced faith and humility. Jail is a weird place to become spiritual....but I believe that Heavenly Father's presence can be there. 

When I was released....I was a new person. I wanted to be sober. I wanted to live a life in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

I admit, I had an easier time than others. I was a secret user so I had NO drug friends. I had to make friends. And I did. Great friends who helped me stay sober that first year. I met my best friend....who loved me for who I was and not what I had done. I did not date anyone serious that first year, even though I met my husband two months out of jail. That year I just worked on me. 

I worked my way back into the church. I was engaged two months after being re-instated and going through 
the temple again. The Lord was just waiting for me to get my act together and once I did....he blessed me with the best husband and a sweet little baby girl. 

It was and still is not easy. I have to work at it everyday. I had a friend once tell me that I was lucky because I got to party for ten years then I got to repent and find a boyfriend. 

Lucky?

Addiction SUCKS. I lost a lot because of it. I would give ANYTHING for those 5 years back to travel, work, live. I hurt everyone around me and making up for that is hard. 

Lucky?

No. But I am blessed that I was able to overcome.

So how do I do it?

Daily communication with My Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ
Diligent remembrance of the blessings I have
Living an honest life
A clear knowledge that I do not want to go back to that place
Associating with those that uplift.... not drag down

That is how I do it.

It is not for everyone. 

But it works for me.

And that is what I need...for it to work for me.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

My Oscar Predictions


No musical number...perhaps interpretive dance
A Muppet
Billy Crystal will make me want to scratch my eyes out
A Mitt Romney Joke (if not on TV then in my living room)
Octavia Spencer will be showing WAY too much cleavage
Bridesmaids
George Clooney will lose...again (he should not have run in flip-flops)
After careful thought and consideration..... Meryl will lose lucky number 16
When they show Glenn Close and her clip in Albert Nobbs it will be the part where she says her name is Albert and Miss and I will shudder
Navy will sleep through it

Friday, February 24, 2012

Way Off


Netflix thinks they know me.

They give me recommendations.

The last 7 things I streamed were...

Lost Boys
St. Elmos's Fire
Kramer vs Kramer
Philadelphia
The Last Emperor
Gosford Park
JFK

Based on that list Netflix recommends....

Sponge Bob Square Pants
SNL - Best of Chris Farley
Overboard
Winters Bone
Battlestar Galactica
Judy Mooney
Good Will Hunting

So....close?

Netflix should start a dating site.

Woah


50 songs people

I got 50 songs

That means those of you who played along will be getting two CD's.

I will admit...I jammed to a few new songs....

I will also admit Coldplay is on this mix and that hurt me (robin).

So this weekend I will burn. And I will mail out next week. 

Let me know what you think.

Oh and ummmm....one of my favorite songs is Jay-Z's 99 problems....

'cause I'm young and I'm black and my hats down low do I look like a mind reader sir, I don't know.

But I kept this mix edited.

Friday, February 17, 2012

The Book Club


This is the only pic I have from last night....but it will do. Bright Red kisses from Auntie Aubry

So book club met for the first time last night.

We read....

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close.

I liked it...others did not.

It was a good night. Surrounded by intelligent, strong, fun women.

It's what we as women need sometimes.

We laughed and shared and cried.

It was good.

And there was delicious food. 

I made this and it was delicious.

So who is in for next month? 

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

And one more down....


This was the best part of last night.

Miss eating banana bread at Toasters.

Albert Nobbs?

AWFUL.

Like it was just awkward to watch. 

Even Glenn Close could not save that movie.

And I like quirky, sad, period pieces...but this....TERRIBLE.

Miss and I squirmed and looked away the whole time.

But we can check it off our list.

Oh and the banana bread? Not that good.

Friday, February 10, 2012

One more down....


This picture makes me laugh.

I did not even check it...just took it and realized it had half of miss this morning.

Iron Lady.

BOOOOOOOOOOORING

but....

Meryl Streep is AMAZING.

And I threw up on the way home.

So there is that.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Music Swap


In December Bestie Miss did a cookie swap.

It gave me an idea that I decided to do after baby was born.

Well...baby was born.

So here is it. 

A music swap.

Listen, it is no secret I am a music snob, but recently I started liking a song that is WAY out of my genre. So I got to thinking...what else is out there.

So here is the deal.....

Send me your favorite song(s) or your favorite song(s) right now.
I will compile all the songs
I will send you a CD with all the songs.

That simple. I PROMISE I will make no judgments. No ones songs will be labeled...It will come to you in plain ole mix tape fashion.

But then we can all be exposed to new music.

So email me at:

  sweetjdp at gmail dot com

Send me your song(s) and your address.

You have until February 20th.

And spread the word on your blogs and social networks...the more the merrier.

Maybe Miss will make me a button. 

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Haters

I don't think it is a secret.

I have haters.

I know who most are...even if they think they hide.

I will admit, my skin is not as thick as I would like people to think.

It hurts when hurtful things are said or thought about me.

There are a handful of people who know everything about me...actually three....and so as far as I am concerned they are the only ones who can judge.

I may seem worldly (I am) and sarcastic ( I am) and fierce ( I am)

But....

I have also hid in a closet hoping he did not find me and hit me
Been hit, hurt, broken
Questioned if I was ever loved 
Cried myself to sleep wondering why I was so awful
Numbed every hurt feeling with drugs
Cried to my Heavenly Father in a jail cell
Redeemed myself

So until you truly know me....remember that this is a blog. A blog where I am mostly frivolous and silly.

And as you go to talk to your friend about me or post a hateful comment you should know...

I have a heart just like you.

Update


Miss Navy.

Two months
11 lbs
22 inches
Brave girl through shots (braver than mom)
Still smiling
Loves music and TV
Finally fitting into her clothes
Pretty much secured she is a Platts baby
Still sleeps through the night
Chubby