Tuesday, December 27, 2011


So now that I have an offspring I can finally achieve all the things I ever wanted to through her.

That is what motherhood is about right?
enter the anonymous comments about how i am awful. 

Here is the thing...I just want one thing.

I want her to sing.

And not just sing...I mean hell I sing...

I want her to sing like Jennifer Hudson, or Mercedes on Glee.

I want her to have a soulful voice.

I have a country voice...twang and all. It is what kept me from fame and glory on American Idol.

Well not my girl, we have started early with the Dreamgirls soundtrack.

I mean she is almost a month old...we are losing precious time. How will I ever get her on the Disney Channel if I am just puttering around letting her listen to Raffi.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Bestie Christmas

On Monday Bestie Miss and I had our annual Bestie Christmas.

Miss made me dinner....she made me fried chicken and mac and cheese all with just a fork, knife and a whisk. My dishes were dirty. She improvised.

We exchanged gifts. Usually we go all out...like hundreds of dollars. This year we put a $20 dollar limit on each other (with an extra $20 for/from Navy).

Miss got me those delicious tights you see. Plus a baby book and an environmentally liberal pop up book.

It was fab. She is a great gift giver.

And for some reason...we rarely take pictures together....so this is the only documentation of the event.

I forgot that I bought her a Dr Pepper Lip Smackers.

That will have to wait for next year.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011


So I have almost been a mother for two weeks.

In that two weeks I have learned a lot.

I thought I would impart my wisdom...seeing how I am practically an expert now.


Things I have learned about being a mom....

My house is covered in breast milk...seriously...it gets everywhere

Getting ready for the day is a luxury....I barely shower

I cry a lot...like when I run out of chicken

Nothing EVER goes how I imagined. She wears pink, uses the paci's I despised and is being supplemented with formula. All things I said would never happen.

I cannot fit in my pre pregnancy clothes yet. I seriously thought that would happen in a week

I don't know WHY we use diapers because my baby waits until the diaper is off to do her business

My washer/dryer usage has doubled

Remember how I thought I would be bored not working....HA

I mean this is just a partial list....but the biggest thing I learned.

I love more than I have ever loved. 


Monday, December 19, 2011

Girl Baby

So remember how I asked for advice on what to take to the hospital.....

Like how I posted that on December 7th?

Yeah I hope you posted fast that day.

Because on December 7th at 4:28 PM 

Navy Loral Parker

was born.

6lbs 11oz 20 inches long

I was not planning on that day....but I hear that is just what happens sometimes.

I had a doctors appointment that day and we decided he would induce me on Monday the 12th.

As a side note....I mentioned to him that I did not feel her kick as much as I used to. He asked me a few questions and decided as a precautionary measure I should go get a stress test. So he set one up for that day and Saturday the 10th. 

Note: I had debated whether or not to tell the doctor about the movements. I did not want to seem overly paranoid. But I was prompted like 20394928374298 that day to tell him. This is the first of many times that I publicly thank my Heavenly Father for his love for me and my sweet daughter.

So off I went to Lakeview hospital for my test. I was only going to be there 20-30 minutes. I brought my Real Simple magazine. I had plans to wrap gifts and finish neighbor gifts that day. 

They hooked me up to the monitor and in 15 minutes a nurse came in and said "we have called Dr Pead..we think we are going to need to take this baby today...like soon". 

I just stared at her. For like what felt like long minutes. Just stared. I opened my mouth and the only thing I could think of to say was "but I am in one hour parking and I have on a Social Distortion shirt". Now it was the nurses turn to stare at me as she asked "Jennifer do you understand what I said?". I blankly said yes 

I asked if she was ok...they were vague. They just kept telling me they needed to get her out ASAP.

It was 2:15. I was taken back at 3:45. In that time....

I finished my Real Simple article
I cried
I shook
I called my husband, my mom, my dad, my bestie
I signed consent form after consent form
I realized we were doing a c-section
I cried more 
I shook more
I prayed

At 3:30 my husband and his father arrived to give me a blessing. After they finished I was whisked away to the operating room for my spinal block. Ummmm I hated that. 

Once it was in it was a blur....a sheet went up...Ed came in...I threw up....I shook and cried. 

5 minutes later...my sweet girl was out.

I cried and cried and kept asking if she was ok...she was having trouble breathing. But then I heard the beautiful sound of her screaming and I just lost it. The doctors and nurses talked among themselves and all I heard was...

"that was rough"
"cord around the neck"
"placenta causing distress"

The doctor finally spoke to me and all he said was "thank you for listening to your body and telling me about the movements....if you had waited even one more day this would have been a different story". I had nurses huddled outside...praying that she was safe. I found out later that a very similar thing had happened just that Monday in the hospital and the baby had been still born.

Note: I would again like to publicly thank my Heavenly Father. I was told over and over again in that hospital how lucky I was, how blessed she was. It is by the grace of God she is here. 

They brought her to me....and Ed was there.

It was beautiful.
She was beautiful.

They stitched and stapled me and took me back to my room.

I was alone for like five minutes.

It was quiet. 

I thought about how 6 years ago I was in the exact same hospital detoxing from drugs...and here I was now married with a beautiful healthy daughter. I was shaking all over from the block...and I just cried and cried. Grateful for everything I have been given and the blessings in my life.

And so she is here.

And I am serious she is beautiful.

Welcome to the world little one.

You are our miracle.

Note: For all of you who were sure I would be a bad mother because I do not like pink or Hello Kitty please note, I did what was most important...I listened to my Heavenly Father. 

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Advice from moms

What did you pack in your hospital bag when you had your sweet little?

All the lists online are MASSIVE and I cannot imagine I need all of that.

Please help me out....

So far I have...

breast pads

So without your help that is what I am going to the hospital with.


I want new luggage.

And this is it. Steamline Luggage.

I die for it. 

I want all the pieces and then I just want to roll them around town.

Like use them at the grocery store.


Sunday, December 4, 2011

Girl Baby Nursery

Drum roll please.....

Below is Girl Baby's nursery.

There are a few bits and pieces left to do.

I have pennants coming and Auntie Aubry is making the mobile.

But we are pretty much done.

(not shown are the the delicious creamsicle colored closet doors...yum. I will show those when everything on the crib is done.)



The storm of the century came through Utah on Thursday.

It woke Ed Parker and I up at like midnight and then I did not sleep again.

It was like a freight train was ripping through our house.

It was pretty scary.

Knocked semi's over

Blew off signs

Uprooted trees

Destroyed peoples homes

We are lucky that all the damage we had is one missing wreath and a hole in our fence.

Our electricity was out for only a day...while others still do not have electricity.

I am grateful for our safety and the safety of all those we know.

And one thing is for sure....

I will not make it at the end of days. 

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Cyber Monday

I bought one thing on cyber monday.

These TDF pennants from Iviebaby.

I LOOOOOOVE her (Elizabeth). 

As soon as baby is old enough I am getting her one of these.

DIE. Love it.


Monday, November 28, 2011

Gratitude - day.......

So I fell a bit behind....

But here is a list of things I have been grateful for over the past week or so.

The fact that besties birthday went off without a hitch. At least I think it did.
My work shower that was totally bitchin
The safety of girlbaby who took a tumble with me down the stairs
The fact that I am still pregnant because I LOVE it (I am hoping reverse psychology works on this girlbaby)
Two days with my dad and bonus mom
Caught up on the DVR...only to see it fill up again
People who tell me I look cute, because I don't
The gospel 
My Savior
Pumpkin pie
The most PERFECTION idea for one of my favorite people
The fact that I do not have to take 80 Lortab a day to feel normal. 
That my house is decorated for Christmas

Happy Late Thanksgiving


Thursday, November 17, 2011

Gratitude - day seventeen

This baby shower invite.

As I mentioned...I quit my job.

But they are throwing me a party....yep think of it....computer developers at a baby shower.

Anyway, I got this is my inbox yesterday.

It is magical.



Babies are super Rock n Roll.

PS...I love Axl....like love him. Oh how I wish for 1988.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Gratitude - day sixteen

My Bestie.

It is her 30th birthday today.

Happy Happy.

She is family to me. And my dearest friend.

We have laughed, cried (yes I have seen her cry), and shared in almost everything for the past four years.

She is my person.

She knows EVERYTHING about me. There is not one thing she does not know...down to my pin number and garage code.

We both HATE the word bestie and started using it as a joke and it stuck.

We love delicious restaurants and fabulous shopping.

She is my best movie partner.

She has the biggest heart.

So Happy Birthday Aubs!!!

Today I am grateful for you.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Gratitude - day fifteen

New additions.

This is Zane...he was born yesterday to my sweet sister Megan.

Isn't he sweet?

Girl Baby is so lucky to have 3 cousins born within a year of her. They will all be best friends.

I have to admit..looking at that picture just trips me out because in 26 days I will have a human that comes out of me.


Monday, November 14, 2011

Gratitude - day fourteen

Miracles in safety that have happened for this little one.

This is Catherine.

She is my sweet sister.

I have four sweet sisters that I inherited...I love them all.

Last summer (2010) my little one was in a car accident that almost took her from us.

This summer she got married and now they are expecting baby on the way.

Today she got into ANOTHER car accident.

She is ok.....baby is ok....but it was a scare none the less.

I love her...to bits and bits. And I would die if anything happened to her or her sweet little growing family.

So today I am thankful for miracles and for my Heavenly Father who provides them.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Gratitude - day thirteen

My Angel.

This pic is taken after Sunday spaghetti dinner.

Most do not understand him...and never will.

He was my protector at one time.

Now he is just my boy.

He is not well behaved and he is really spoiled.

But we love him.

Funny story....

We have sweet little girls that live in our neighborhood. One day they we playing "Tangled " and they were assigning parts. Their mom asked who was going to be the evil mom. The little girl looked at her and said "Angel".

 Seriously......he can be a jerk.

But he is sweet in the mornings.

Gratitude - day twelve

Sunrise Ruby Red Grapefruit Crystal Light on ice.

I am off the Capri Suns.

I am an adult after all.

So now I drink gallons and gallons of this.

P.S. - My husband came up with this day of gratitude...but I am pretty sure he is not grateful for the five times a day he makes me a pitcher of this stuff.

It is delicious and fulfills my cravings.

Friday, November 11, 2011

Gratitude - day eleven

I have 4739485739845 of them.

I have worn them almost everyday of this pregnancy...because I did not want to wear maternity tops.

They are the perfect stretch and the perfect fit.

Every time I go to the outlets I load up...seriously I will buy 15 at a time. They have every color imaginable at the outlet.

And as the days grow closer to the due date...they are really all that fit me.

Except when I squeeze baby bump into a concert t.

Gratitude - day ten

A nice dentist.

Who will see me the same day I call about a toothache.

Who calmly gives me bad news.

And pats my shoulder when I start crying.

And all his assistants who tell me not to be embarrassed because it's normal to cry when you are pregnant.

And to his office staff who waived the exam fee.

I am grateful for my dentist. 

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Gratitude - day nine


I quit my job today.

I am done.

I am sad.

It has been a great place to work.

It has great people.

What will I do with my time?

Who wants to do breakfast tomorrow? Lunch? Snack?

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Gratitude - day eight

My husband.

I have, without a doubt, the greatest husband.

He is:


He provides for his family
He loves the Lord
He makes me laugh everyday
He tells me he loves me everyday
He is better than I am 
He will be a great father

I love him

Gratitude - day seven


Look when you have been in bed as long as I have with this Girl Baby....you begin to love Netflix.

I know they have raised their prices and they have had some dumb ideas...but....


It has kept me entertained with:

Law and Order: Criminal Intent
X Files
Star Trek
The IT crowd

And so today...a day late I am grateful for Netflix.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Gratitude - day six

Sunday Dinner.


Mashed Potatoes.





Saturday, November 5, 2011

Gratitude - day five

Movie Saturday with Bestie.

We are trying to squeeze in as many as we can before Girl Baby.

Our biggest time of year is November - December.

Oscar season.

But this year is getting cut short.

And usually we see two or three a day....but my body cannot handle that right now.

But.......this will be the thing we do 15 years from now.

Also, Ides of March was goooooooooood and I am NOT a Ryan Gosling fan.

Friday, November 4, 2011

Gratitude - day four

My neighborhood.

I like my neighbors..they are fun.

We laugh and have a great time together.

We are all different and they do not think I am too loud.

I am excited for my girl baby to play in our neighborhood.

I am surrounded by supportive women.

Strong women who I admire.

But I don't like Arctic Circle.

And if you go to the car wash at 2:00 AM you killed someone and need to wash out your trunk.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Gratitiude - day three

If you read my blog you know where I work.

You know what I do for a living.

You know what I have at my disposal.

You know that anonymous means nothing to me.

Because I know where comments come from.

And today I am thankful for that.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Gratitude - day two

My Young Women.

This not a picture of them.

I did not feel comfortable plastering their face all over the www.

But tonight as I drove these girls around I felt gratitude for them.

They know me. They know me well enough to be sarcastic with me.

They know me well enough to tell me I am cranky.

They know me well enough to tell me I am pretty.

They are examples of strength and of spirituality.

They teach me something new every week.

I love them.

Is that reality enough?

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Gratitiude - day one

On this the month of gratitude I start it out with something most importatnt.

The fact that J.Crew crewcuts now has baby.

Wait did you hear me....

J. Crew crewcuts now has BABY!!!!

Girl Baby was born at the perfect time...just like I was in jail at the perfect time (when they had delicious chicken nuggets).

So sweet November...your first day goes to crewcuts.

It's a good day.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Who will save me?

So tonight was our wards Halloween carnival.

I love seeing all the sweet little costumes.

I had two conversations with two cute friends that made me realize I am doomed.

First convo with first cute friend started with me telling her how fab her costume was...she said...
"thanks my mom made it"

Second convo with second cute friend started "come see my kids" 
And they were the cutest Mickey and Minnie Mouse.
I said they were so cute...she said....
"thanks my grandma made them"

It was then I realized the horror....I need a seamstress. Like NOW.

How will I have any cute costumes???? How will Girl Baby survive????

Someone loan me their grandma or their mom.


Sunday, October 23, 2011

Baby Shower

I had a baby shower.

Thrown by my bestie Miss.

It was PERFECTION. Honestly the perfect shower. 

It was the perfect day (76 degrees in the middle of October in Utah...Miss prayed HARD for that)
I had the perfect people there
I had the perfect photog (thank you Heidi)
It was in the perfect location (thank you Cydney)

Well just see for yourself....

Do...you...DIE. miss did all types of cakes with all types of sweet decorations. She baked for a WEEK. Every time I would Hey Tell her she would tell me she was baking or crafting.


Yes...that is a bucket FULL of Capri Suns. HEAVEN.

Uhhh lets talk about the craftiness that is my family. Do you SEE these blankets??? They are maj. Sweet Girl Baby is lucky to be surrounded by craftiness.

AND THESE DRAPES????? Heidi PRETTY much outdid herself. Also see that gift bag in the back? That is from Shauna who wins the CUTEST Girl Baby clothes award with those shoes. No pic but TRUST me...To die for.

This is me...taking in the sites....with a belt around my stomach. That was a bad choice that I suffered through. Also that is my 3298374293874 Capri Sun. 

I had almost all my lovelies there. EVEN THOUGH it was the Halloween dance.

Great friends came...and some even provided Zara boxes...Die

More great friends and family

Here I am trying on what Girl Baby was given....this is how you do it right? 

Now this is me telling my wad members I was going to use whiskey to calm my baby. No one laughed...and I think CPS was called. Side note.....so you see how bestie is writing everything down? I have an entire blog post dedicated to that card....just you wait.

Thank you Miss for a FAB shower. It was perf.

And sweet girl baby just kicked me hard in the ribs....I think that means "thank you Auntie Aubry" or it means "stop drinking so much Capri Sun I am sick of it"