Squeeze, Cluck, and Spank

I consider my life full of experiences. Lessons if you will. Things I learn to get me to the next phase of my life. I am grateful for all these "lessons". I have learned things like....don't get married unless you are in love, don't stick around when someone is hurting you, when someone tells you you will not get hurt crowd surfing don't believe them, and a string can pluck your eyebrows.

This past weekend I learned HUGE life lessons. Ed Parker, Auby (Miss Aubsy, Aubs, A, Aubry) and I went to a horse show to support our friend Matt(y). Who knew that you could learn sooo much from 7 hours with horses? Well I feel selfish keeping all this wisdom to myself. So I impart bits and pieces of this wisdom.

#1 - Sometimes to get the perfect "souvenir" you have to go look "in the yard" or wait until someone gets back from the grocery store.

#2 - Even when you think someone is not looking they are. Oh also you know be modest.

#3 - Ostrich Queen (sometimes car rides home can be illuminating)

#4 - Sometimes setting the timer on a camera works...............................

#5 -............ Sometimes it doesn't unless it is an album cover from 1989 (nice trivia)

#6 - In order to be a true cowboy you have to grow a manly moustache (just ask Barry Platts)

#7 - Rub...................

#8 - ......Scratch...........

#9 - ........hell freezing over (lesson learned...horse shows are magical or Big Mac was flirting with Auby)

#10 - Brushing a horses tail will not get you kicked in the head BUT.... BUH BUH BUH

#11 - I know the lesson in this one could be you know "watch where you back your horse" but I chose "anywhere Jen goes she can find a dog to hold"

#12 - Auby will, at times, do things she does not want to do.

#13 - To get things to happen in life you just need a slow even squeeze

#14 - To get over major fears...."just get back on the horse"

#15 - Or get off the horse...that is a lesson all in itself

#16 - Don't wear $175 jeans to a horse show

#17 - Sometimes when you have the best steaks ever....you run out (I mean for hells sake it is Fillmore go kill a cow. In fact I bet Zac Efron's dad has cows. How else do you afford a Camero?)

#18 - I know no one has seen "Beerfest" (unless we are counting that as Auby's dating life) so this lesson is lost on everyone

#19 - Cowboys and Chargers CAN get along (ha ha get it? I laughed for like an hour)

#20 - Every event must have the token Alice and Auby pic

#21 - Put a cowboy hat on ANYONE and they instantly become a Bad A (notice the toothpick)

#22 - That my friends is the Salt Lake County Sheriffs Posse. Don't go to jail.

#24 - Look at the camera when someone tells you to! SHEESH!!

#25 - Get your own University of Utah sweatshirt (again notice the toothpick...classic)

#26 - Sometimes the cutest couples are very unconventional ("which one of you like Matt?"....."Ummm that would be Ed")

#27 - Every arena needs a Zamboni

#28 - When you are taking pictures of the AWESOME riding skills of your friend Matt(y) you need a better camera.

#29 - Ok so you know when you go to Disneyland and you see people wearing the same shirts that are like bright orange and they say something like "Johnson Family Reunion 1985"? You know they wear them so they do not get lost and they can easily be spotted? Well at a horse show they do the same thing but with Camo.

#30 - 'Nam injuries can be a pain. What a trooper Cowboy Ed was.

#31 - Jen will do anything for a dollar......except anything she does not want to do

Great Job Matt(y)!!!!! It was super fun!!!! Now I need to find some peanut butter bars.